What to do When He’s Just Not That Into You

The movie He’s Just Not That Into You came on TV this weekend and I just had to watch.

It’s a chick-flick that features an adorable desperate girl (played by my fav Ginnifer Goodwin) who serves as a compilation and slight hyperbole of everything girls do when they pine after a guy who’s just not that into them.

It’s a pretty funny movie, and it does bring to light a lot of things that girls and guys tend to do in relationships – especially when one is “chasing” the other to no avail.

If you’ve ever chased someone who’s just not that into you (e.g. it starts on the recess playground), and spent time wishing something would change, you know it can be a pretty awful feeling.

It’s one of the most distracting and all encompassing things. And it usually leads nowhere except down a long, long road of analysis, drama, and false hope.

With Valentines Day coming up this week, it can be a fun time for some and a slightly depressing time for others. I was single many Valentines Days and can remember that feeling all to well.

If you have a special person in your life to spend Valentines Day with – awesome, enjoy it. For those of you who are single and loving it – have a great day to and just forget about this stupid-holiday-created-by-the-greeting-card-companies. ;)

And for those of you who have someone you are wishing would be into you – think about really letting them go. He’s Just Not That Into You is a great reminder that people can sometimes put too much of their great energy into a person who just doesn’t deserve it or appreciate it. It happens to almost all of us, and it says nothing about who you are.

What kills me is when I see students struggling with classes and look generally drained of their usual life and energy because of a relationship that just isn’t happening. It affects their grades, their happiness, and their general zest for life. 

The irony of He’s Just Not That Into You is that almost everyone ends up with a relationship at the end. But life doesn’t always work that way. And when great relationships happen they almost never evolve out of the kind of pining and wishing and chasing after someone who just doesn’t like you the way you wish they did.

If you ever find yourself in a place where you’re not genuinely chasing after your life because you’re chasing after someone else, put a stop to it. Let go. Find friends and other activities to replace the spot where you were giving your attentions to someone who just doesn’t see you that way.

And remember – the best relationships, the times when someone is really into you, will usually occur when you are fully yourself, fully in engaging in your own life with vigor and joy – not worrying or wishing after anyone and simply engaging with your future, seeing what happens along the way.

Happy Vday <3