Thursday, January 19, 2012

Romance, Relationships, College Success?

Almost everything that I write about on this blog directly correlates with my overall belief that the building, developing, and strengthening of relationships is at the core of building success.

And, the reality is, some of the relationships in our lives that occupy the most time and attention are romantic ones.

Meeting. Talking. Dating. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. The Notebook. 

So, I wanted to be able to touch on the subject on occasion. And away we go...

I approach relationship advice in the same way that I do with any networking – it should be about positive, encouraging, and productive interactions, regardless of the intimacy involved.

So here are the top three questions that I think are worth asking if you are in, or are thinking about, engaging in a casual, or even serious, relationship. 

1. What am I looking to contribute to this connection? Like all interactions, it is probably worthwhile to consider how great of an investment you are looking to put forth. If you aren’t interested in the emotional, or even time, commitment of a serious relationship, the person involved should know ahead of time. If not, you are setting yourself up for interpersonal conflict, which doesn’t set up a situation conducive for your personal success. In other words - prevent the drama.

            2. How does the other person fulfill my expectations? If you shouldn’t settle for a career, shouldn’t settle for a college, shouldn’t settle for a major, why on earth would anyone settle in a relationship? It is okay if someone doesn’t meet  all 1000 items from your checklist or look like Ryan Gosling, but it is not okay if that person has characteristics/values that aren’t up to what you know you deserve. You deserve constant respect, affection, and support – don’t stop believing in what you deserve in any part of your life. 

3. How much have I learned about the other person? I love chick-flicks, Disney movies, and Twilight…but, those silent, mysterious, and unsolved personalities are only “dreamy” when you first meet them. For example, a company’s image might be amazing, but you want to know the employee culture before you decide you want to work there. Don’t change that rule for a personal relationship. I am not talking about going too fast or taking it too slow- people can be together for a long time without actually knowing a lot about each other or vice versa. But don't be afraid to get to know what the other person really loves and really cares about.

And most importantly, remember, this is not about what is “hot” or how to get the cute guy or girl to notice you in class – those things are fleeting.What will stay the same? The fact that you deserve relationships that improve the quality of your life.

Never forget that and you will always qualify as a dating expert :)

So, uh what are your loves and dreams? 

Let's be friends.  
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