An overachievers guide to dealing with failure

Last week I had lunch with a professor I had in community college. She teaches Latin American Humanities, and we chatted about my current endeavor to learn Spanish.

We laughed as she recounted how hard it must be for an overachiever like myself to learn a language because I hate to make mistakes. I threw my hands up in laughter and yelled "yess that's so true!!"

I'm journaling about my experience learning Spanish (as part of an exploration of my biracial identity) for a future book, and in my journal one of the most frequent patterns is my fear of failure.

Because, as I've come to realize, learning a language, like many other difficult and worthwhile things in life, requires failure.  You have to make mistakes to learn a language. If you're not willing to make mistakes, you'll never learn.

And boy, do I hate that! 

As an overachiever, we love our A's, we love syllabi that lay out exactly what we have to do to get that A, and we get a high from doing exactly what we need to do to succeed. We love the rush of a 100% on an exam or getting back an essay with few red marks.

However, life doesn't quite work this way, and it often leads to a lot of anxiety after college; and sadly it sometimes stunts the potential of many overachievers - because failure terrifies us.

But as I've learned, it's not so bad once you realize failure is kind of like its own college class to be aced. It has much to teach us, and if we become a student of failure, we can still be 'overachivers' in the ways we deal with it.

Here are a few tips I've learned over the past few years as I've failed to roll my r's and gone through the many failures that come after graduating college and starting a business: 

1. Read biographies of people you admire

How to Be Like Walt by Pat Williams is the book that helped me deal with the twenty-something crisis I experienced after I graduated college. I'm a big Disney fan but never knew much about the man behind the mouse. The book was recommended to me by my first professional mentor, and reading about Walt Disney's failures struck a strong chord with me.

This book helped me understand that failure was part of the journey for every super successful person. I noticed how Walt dealt with failure, how he learned from it, how he stayed imaginative, and how he never stopped building his skills and thinking about how he could add value to others.

Browse a few biographies or memoirs of really successful people whom you think are intriguing, and, as you read their story, analyze the failure parts. Focus on the timeline. Understand the years and the heartache success requires. And notice how these people dealt with the failures in their lives. Because they'll have gone through many more failures than you ever realized. 

2. Consider comedians

I'm a huge entertainment and pop culture junky, and I've always been fascinated with comedy. Confession: I'm not funny. In social situations you'll find me as a happy audience member; I love to laugh and I love surrounding myself with funny friends. But I've never been that person.

And recently I've realized it's partly because of my overachiever-nature. To be funny, you have to be willing to be unfunny.

I've read a few books about stand up comedians and learned that most of them, especially the most popular ones, test out their material in small clubs and work and rework their stuff until every single bit gets a laugh. 

The funny people in my life often tell jokes that fall flat. But because they keep telling jokes, they eventually make everyone red in the face with laughter. I admire funny people. It's an art that requires great courage, and it's an art to be learned from. 

3. Learn

At the Phi Theta Kappa International convention this past year speaker and tennis champion Billie Jean King said something I'll never forget: Choose to see failure as feedback.

If you take away the negative association with failure you take away its power. It's simply feedback to help you get closer to reaching your goals. Learn from it. Grow from it. And don't let it get the best of you. 

4. Laugh

"Isa, oh my gosh are you okay? Are you hurt? " my husband yells through the other side of my office door. 

"Yes, I'm fine" I yell back, laughing. "I'm just working on rolling my r's."

;)

Never let the fear of failure keep you from taking chances; it's the only way to grow, and the best way to get better. 

Wouldn't you love to be paid to island hop? Advice from Islands Magazine Editor

This summer I connected with some amazing professionals who were willing to share their wisdom. Each profile will feature how their first job out of college led to their amazing careers today (that they love, by the way), as well as their advice to help you do the same. 

I subscribe to Islands Magazine as a motivator - reading the amazing travel stories and looking at the serene beaches excites me to work harder to be able to visit the places I'm reading about. 

Last month I read an amazing story in the magazine and thought, "wow, the guy who wrote this is literally paid to travel to beautiful islands - what a cool job." I looked up the writer and it turned out he was the Executive Editor!

Many could argue being a travel writer is a dream job, but desiring to travel will not get you there. It takes hard work, and I'm so thankful to Robert for sharing his advice with us. Thanks Robert!!

 First Job Profile: Robert Stephens, Editor for the Islands media brand

1) What was your first job out of college and how did you get it? 

For the first six months I got a taste of authentic television glamour...by hauling camera cables and building scaffolds for a production company. 

When you're in the trenches like that, you get sweaty, dirty, and poor, but those types of jobs are opportunities to prepare for the next step. And that step was what I consider my first career job: producing the morning news for a TV station in Grand Rapids, Michigan. 

I'd interned there my senior year of college. During that internship I did whatever was necessary to be part of the news team — not just a college student running errands to earn a few credits. The staff apparently liked my work ethic, and when a position opened up, they contacted me. No more scaffolds. 

2) What was the most important thing you learned from your first job?

Humility for one. Looking for solutions instead of problems for another. My first night on the job was a disaster, and the best learning experience I've ever had. I knew I'd be responsible for creating the 6:30 a.m. newscast. What I didn't know is that I'd be alone from 11 p.m. until the anchorwoman showed up at 6 a.m. to go over the scripts — the ones I was supposed to write. 

It had to be the worst newscast in the history of that market. Tapes weren't cued up. Scripts were mistimed. Phonetic spellings were missing. We went to black three times. 

Afterward, the anchor was fuming. Before she could say anything, I walked up to her and said, "I'm really sorry. Tomorrow will be better, I promise. And I'd appreciate it if you could show me a few things before I leave today." Things got better in a hurry. 

3) What did you to leverage your first job to help you get where you are today? 

The newsroom wasn't where I wanted to be. I wanted to work with the sports division because the writing was more creative and less formulaic. So I actually volunteered to work with the sports crew on some weekends and evenings. When I decided to move into print media, that extra experience on the creative side got me in the door. 

4) What advice do you have for a recent graduate who is struggling to find their first job after college? 

Don't chase clouds. That job is important, but if you treat it as the be-all end-all, you'll be badly disappointed. It's just a part in the engine called life. So enjoy the process, always.

Happy Fourth of July!

Every Fourth of July I find myself reflecting on the American Dream. 

Regardless of our country's problems, I'm so thankful to live in a country that works on those problems, that's free to speak about those problems, and that's built on an ethos of hope. 

Thank you to all of you college students who have served. 

I hope you have a bright and wonderful holiday.

Sincerely,

Isa

How to get a job in the fashion industry: H&M First Job Profile

This summer I connected with some amazing professionals who were willing to share their wisdom. Each profile will feature how their first job out of college led to their amazing careers today (that they love, by the way), as well as their advice to help you do the same.

First Job Profile: Jennifer Ward, Senior Public Relations Director at H&M

1) What was your first job out of college and how did you get it? 

I graduated with an Advertising/PR degree but was having trouble finding a job. I took a job at Tommy Hilfiger as a sales assistant so I could learn the other side of the business until I was able to find a position in PR.

2) What was the most important thing you learned from your first job?

My first job was all about learning about the corporate world and branding. In addition to learning the sales side of the business the behind the scenes was most interesting to me. I learned how everything a brand does is strategic. Why they choose the colors, where the item is placed in the store etc. I thought it was going to be a fashion job, but most of my day was sitting in front of a computer analyzing spreadsheets.

3) What did you to leverage your first job to help you get where you are today? 

My first job helped me form a great foundation to overall understand fashion, but it did not help me much in my goals for PR. 

I had an internship in college for another fashion brand, and a year after graduating I interviewed for a full time position in their press department. It was a very small team of five which is where I learned everything to get me where I am today.

4) What advice do you have for a recent graduate who is struggling to find their first job after college? 

Talk, talk, talk. Ask anyone and everyone if they are able to help - networking is most important. A lot of jobs are not posted on website - it’s all about referrals. 

Having a strong resume will set you aside from the fierce competition. Try to have as many internships and volunteer jobs in your area of interest. If an employer is not hiring they will always remember their smart, motivated intern and help you find a position leveraging their contacts.

Great advice no matter what industry you want to pursue. Thank you so much Jennifer!

CC Grad Kay Atanda's Success Story: From Nigeria to the White House

I just finished writing a feature for the P.S. Blog about an amazing community college student, Kay Atanda, and his incredible journey. I wanted to share it with you here too. :)

“Just call me ‘Kay,’” he said.

“How do you say your real first name?” I asked.

“Olu-wa-da-misi.”

I say it a few times until I get it right. I can hear his infectious smile on the phone.

Kay grew up in Nigeria where he witnessed poverty first hand: “Kids roamed the streets, the rich got richer and the poor got poorer. There wasn’t a middle class,” Kay explains.

Kay felt lucky to be able to attend Redeemers International Secondary School in Nigeria. “We weren’t rich, but my mom always had the optimistic attitude that we could afford the important stuff. If we needed a textbook, she found a way to get it. My mom made us focus on school and she took care of the rest.”

Kay knew what a privilege that was. Daily he saw kids, some even younger than him, sell things on the streets to try to feed themselves and their families.

Kay understood at a young age that many of the problems were due to a poor governmental infrastructure, and he decided to do something about it....Read the rest of the story on the Pearson Students Blog.