How to turn a first job you dislike into a dream job

For the majority of people, their first job out of college is not their dream job. 

For me, while every minute working with students as a Student Life Coordinator truly did feel like a dream come true, much of my job was spent working on logistics, managing budgets, cleaning up tiny bits of confetti, and throwing away half-eaten pizza with my bare hands.

The student-part was awesome, yes. But full-on 100% dream job? Not quite. But it was integral to where I am today, and I am so thankful for it, confetti and all.  

When most from our generation graduate, we tend to have this idea that with a college degree we will get some sort of magical dream job. It's what we were promised, right? It's what makes all those loans worth it, yes? 

Unfortunately, it doesn't exactly work that way. 

And for most of us, we don't realize this until we're moping up a students' sickness on the tile at 10pm because all the janitors have already left and we realize they never covered this in our major.

As I teach extensively in my book, the most vital thing that helped me figure out my next step was doing informational interviews with professionals I admired who had jobs to which I aspired. Every single one explained the difficulties of their first jobs. None of them were handed their 'dream' job, and for many of them, their current job really wasn't a 'dream.' It was still hard, just in a different way. 

But the best part for all of them, is that they had found challenges they really loved. They found a place where the hard stuff wasn't so bad, because they were genuinely interested in what they were doing, and felt like they had something to give.

So how do you get from a first job you may not love to a dream job? 

I feel incredibly lucky to be in my dream job right now, at such a young age. Working from home, writing, speaking, traveling, I literally wake up every day and say thank you. It is possible.

But it does take a lot of work, luck, strategy, work, hope, luck, work, work, work, and work. 

So here is the formula for turning a job you may not like all that much right now into your dream job. 

1. Do not slack off on your current job. Do your best and value what you have. Instead of complaining about what frustrates you, try making a list of all the things you appreciate about your current job, and read it every morning. 
2. Limit complaining about your job to 5 minutes per day. Even if you rightfully have a lot of complain about, try to limit yourself to no more than 5 minutes of venting to a close friend/family member/significant other. Then stop. Because in the end, complaining will start to make you feel worse and never better. 
3. Explore what you really want to do. Notice what you do love about your current job and what makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a spoon. Pay attention, objectively, to where you thrive and where you feel useless.  
4. Start searching job openings online and pay close attention to what they are looking for. Think about how you can build those skills in your current job and/or how you can build related experience outside of your job. 
5. Approach people with jobs you'd like to have and ask them for 15 minutes of their time in person or on the phone. Take them out to lunch or coffee, or call them on your lunch break. Ask them how they got started, and listen carefully to the steps they took between their first job and the job they have now. 
6. If your job is somewhat related to what you want to do, tell your boss you really want to contribute and ask what you could do to help him/her reach the department/organization's goals. Don't worry if you don't get a project you love right away, just show you want to help your boss first and do whatever they ask to the best of your ability. Go the extra mile, even if it seems no one will care. 
7. After you've proven yourself, built a good relationship with your boss, and paid close attention to your organization's goals and needs, think about your best talents and the kinds of projects you really want to do, and propose a new project to your boss that would use your best skills and talents and prepare you for what you desire to do next.
8. During your free time before and after work and during your lunch break, develop the skills you need for the next step you want to take. Spend that time reading books on the subject, actually doing it on your own if applicable, and getting to know people and attending events related to what you really want to do. 
9. When the time is right and you feel like you've developed the skills to be qualified to move on, begin applying for other jobs and seek advice from your professional mentors every step of the way. 
10. Continue to engage fully in your current job and give your 100%. The only way to ensure you'll be qualified for a job you really want in your future is to start developing the habits of hard work and dedication right now. Get involved in your job in the same way I encourage you to in college. Go to extra events, volunteer for projects that interest you, go to Human Resources development classes or programs. Get to know people. Thrive. And most importantly - learn. 

And that is the key to it all. Constantly learning. Every successful person I've ever met has developed the habit early on to engage fully in every experience, even if they didn't love it, and to learn from each and every job by being fully engaged. 

That is the secret to moving forward in your life and yes, actually making some of your professional dreams come true. It can happen. But it does take time and it does take a lot of extra work. But once you find something that's worth that extra work, you'll realize it starts to not even seem like work, but almost like, dare I say it, fun.

Do not wait until you're 50 to start....

This past Friday I was honored to speak at the memorial service for Art Grindle. While in community college I was a part of the Art and Phyllis Grindle Honors Institute, named because of their 1-million-dollar gift to the program. 

Art was the kind of guy who wore hipster-black-framed glasses beneath his white hair and shining clear blue eyes. The kind who stayed late after a charity auction to dance while everyone else went home. 

And during the few times I attended these events with him as an honors student, he always left a lasting impression. He inspired me.

At the memorial service they played a video of him talking to honors students, where he said this: "...you have gifts, and you are talented. Do you have to wait until you're 50 or 60 or 70 to start giving? No! Start now."

I had never heard Art say this before, and it really struck me because I had already planned to write a blog this week about starting the habit of giving and philanthropy early in life.

Because we often assume that we'll be able to give to others when we're "rich." While of course in the state of things now there is no guarantee we will be "rich," it is easy to fall into the mindset that when we're young it has to be all about our own growth and success, and that once we have tons of money then we can start to give. 

But habits start early. And whether you're a multi-millionaire philanthropist or a poor college student sharing a few bucks or dropping off a few cans to a food pantry, each is equally valuable. It's the percentage of things, the thought, the habit.  

So as Art said, do not wait until you're old. Start the habit of giving early, no matter how small it is. 

Look in your local community or your college's scholarship foundation or food bank, and find out what needs are there. Or maybe you know someone in your own family or circle of friends that you could help. 

A great example of starting young is Phi Theta Kappa's Oberndorf Lifeline to Completion scholarship. The CC honors students raised over $125,000 last year and are looking to raise another $125,000 to help students with unexpected life challenges (such as illness or natural disaster) to complete college. Most of that money has come from the students themselves. A few bucks here, a few bucks there. It makes a difference. 

Below is a brief excerpt from my speech for Art: 

In most cases, money naturally causes distance between the wealthy and the poor. As a tutor and nanny I often noticed while driving to work that the biggest houses had the highest walls, closed off, private.

But then there are those rare people like Art, who chose to use his money not to build walls around himself, but to break them down for other people.

Whether you have tons of money or feel like you might be in need of that kind of help, we all have something to give. Whether it's money, food, or your time, your efforts will impact someone else. Art taught me the immense power one person's existence can have on another. 

And in case you haven't realized it in yourself yet, I want to tell you that you have that power too. And you don't have to wait until your hair turns gray to start using it. 

The look of potential

I'll never forget the first time a professor looked me in the eye and told me he expected me to do great things in the world. 

In an age of social media and texting, we don't look people in the eye when we communicate that often. I sure don't. But that doesn't change how powerful it is when we do. 

When I worked as a student life coordinator, I was amazed at how students lit up when I looked them in the eye and told them the leadership potential I saw in them. This was part of my job - to encourage students with potential to apply for leadership positions. But what surprised me was the impact this seemed to have on the students themselves. I could feel them come alive.

Sadly I think too many people with potential never live up to it because they've never had anyone in their life to tell them of their greatness. 

And while, yes, there are plenty of arrogant people out there who need to be brought down a notch, I think there are many more people who are just desperate to feel valued, brimming with gifts to give to the world, but unaware that anyone would want what they have to offer.

So today's blog is a two-fold challenge:

1) Think back to a time when someone looked you in the eye and told you they saw potential in you. What did they say? Write it down and read it often. 

2) The next time you are face-t0-face with a friend or someone you appreciate, look them in the eye and tell them what potential you see in them and what you appreciate about who they are. If that makes you feel awkward, you can start by saying something like this: "hey I read this blog that challenged me to tell one person what I think of them this week, and I thought of you and wanted to tell you that..." Focus on the qualities/talents you see they naturally possess and what you could see them doing in the world. 

You will make their day more than you realize, and you'll be surprised at how good you will feel as the messenger of someone else's potential. 

How to find a professional mentor

If you've read my book or heard me speak you know the #1 advice I give everyone I meet is this:

Find a professional mentor.

The next question, of course, is how. I dedicate 1/3 of my entire book on how to find a professional mentor, because the process itself changed my life. 

In fact, the most popular question I get at advice@communitycollegesuccess.com is how to find a mentor. While I explain it in depth in my book, I wanted to give you a quick overview to get you started.

What is a professional mentor?

• Someone who offers you advice when you are trying to figure out what you want to do with your life and/or trying to move forward in your career. 
• The best professional mentors will have a job that you desire to do one day. 

What are the benefits of having a professional mentor?

• They'll teach you about what your desired job is actually like to help you figure out what you really want to do (before it's too late).
• They'll share their story and help make the job search less scary.
• They'll give you invaluable guidance on how to apply for jobs in your field, help you make further connections, and may even offer you an internship.
• If you're already in your career, your professional mentor can be in another field to help you make a career change, or can give you guidance on moving up in your current field. 

Where do you find a professional mentor?

• It's best to find a professional mentor who is doing a job you'd really like to do one day. If you work full-time already sometimes you can find a great mentor at your job, but this can be difficult when it comes to office politics. You'll usually feel more free to talk openly if it is someone outside your organization.
• The best way to find a professional mentor is to start by thinking of at least one job you would love to do. I recommend exploring InsideJobs.com if you're unsure. 
• Once you have the job title, start thinking about the local companies you'd like to work for that employ someone in that kind of job. Search their company website, LinkedIn, and/or a general internet search to find the e-mail address of someone in that job. Some positions are easier to find than others, but if you're dedicated, there is always a way.
• Never underestimate asking your family and friends (e.g. Facebook status) if they know anyone in a particular job you want to learn more about. This is the #1 way connections are made, and it changes everything. 

How do you get them to talk to you?

• Once you  have the e-mail address, send them a genuine message explaining (briefly) who you are, what makes you unique (e.g. college student, first generation, etc.), and why you admire them (be specific), and then ask if they would share their advice with you for 15 minutes in person (ideally) or on the phone. 
• When they respond (and more will respond than you realize), work around their schedule and pick a time and place. 

What do you do when you meet them?

• Though this sounds intimidating it is so easy. Because all you have to do is listen. 
• Ask them how they got to where they are today, what they love about their job, what is most challenging about their job, and what advice they have for you. Notice how you feel when they talk about their job. Does it spark your interest further?
• Take notes and thank them afterwards.

How do you keep up the mentorship relationship?

• Thank every professional mentor you meet with, and ask them if they wouldn't mind if you e-mailed them from time to time with quick questions as follow up to their advice. 
• If they say yes, act on one of the pieces of advice they gave you. Then e-mail them telling them how it helped, and ask another follow up question.
• Keep this up and a mentorship relationship is born and will come naturally. 

As much as possible, always start your mentorship relationships in person. Nothing can compare to the bond that is created when you look someone in the eye. However, when it comes to keeping up the relationship, e-mail works great. 

Good luck and as always feel free to send your questions to advice@communitycollegesuccess.com!

And for a more in-depth look on how to find professional mentors, including an e-mail template, how to follow up, a list of questions to ask, and more, you can check out my book on Amazon.com. 

A must-do before your summer ends

Okay, so I know what I'm about to say won't be very popular. But I promise, it will make you feel so good. Are you ready?

Before the summer ends you must clean your room/apartment/house. And when I say clean I mean really go through every drawer and closet and get rid of everything you do not need/use. I just did this today and it felt so unbelievably fantastic.  

Before

If you're a pack-rat or very sentimental about your stuff, here is a question that might help you clean things out. Ask yourself: have I used this in the past six months? If not, get rid of it. 

I do have one box that I've labeled "memorabilia" and that is where I keep all the sentimental stuff I know I'll want to revisit when I'm older. 

The key - just do it! There is a feeling of freshness that motivates you towards the next chapter of your life, whatever it may be. So pick a day this summer and dedicate it to getting rid of anything you don't use anymore. 

And then enjoy the free space :)

After