How to have the most fascinating college conversations

Have you ever had a conversation that made you think differently? College can be a rich reservoir for these fascinating exchanges.  

Even though I’m not in college anymore, I had some of those conversations this past Friday.

As a Student Activities Coordinator I worked with SGA to put on a small Diversity Fair where the international students on our campus set up a table with décor, information, and food from the country where they were from.

And in addition to eating unbelievable foods like yucca and rice cakes and trying on gorgeous head gear from the Bahamian festival Junkanoo, I learned things from students at our college that I hadn’t known before.

These students grew up in Tanzania, The Bahamas, and Vietnam and came here to start a new life, make a better life. These students overcame language barriers, cultural barriers, and are some of the most involved students I work with. They really care about their education and they inspire me every time I talk to them.

This past week, I learned so much more about their journeys, about their families still in their countries, about their loneliness, and about their determination. I learned about their foods, their festivals, their customs, and their culture.

We talked about how hard it is to learn a new culture, a new language, and drive on the “wrong” side of the road.

As I listened to these stories and I engaged with these students, I thought about how difficult it would be to adapt to an entirely new culture. I wondered what it would be like to adapt to that culture and it’s educational customs. And I thought about how determined you’d have to be to make it.

What strikes me every time I meet one of these students is how determined, excited, ambitious, and grateful they are. And learning more about their journey’s reminded me that there is this giant world out there that no matter how many movies we watch or books we read or classes we take we’ll never understand – because we’ve never lived it.

How many people walk around you in college every day who have lives you've never lived? How much could you learn from those lives? I promise you - it's a lot.

Be on the lookout for these kinds of conversations in your own life and let them open your mind. Create opportunities for them and cultivate them so that they yield the incredible fruits of new understanding.

Make an effort to get to know a wide variety of people at your college. Do what you can to expand your horizons with every conversation. Ask people their stories. Listen deeply.

You’ll make them feel like someone cares. And you might just learn something that expands your own mind in a forever kind of way.

One of the things I remember most poignantly was one of the students saying how lonely she felt. She mentioned a work-study student who sits at front desk of our small indoor campus, and how he says hi to her and calls her by name every day. You could see in her eyes that his “hello” and use of her name meant the world to her. It made her feel welcome.

Welcome a variety of people into your life. It will mean the world to them; and they might just open a whole new world for you. 

Community College Success: The Book Trailer

Hi everyone! As you may have heard on this blog, my book Community College Success, published by Norlights Press, will release on March 15th, 2012.

I am very excited to share this with you - I appreciate all of your support. Here is a short trailer put together for the book.

I hope you enjoy!

What Jeremy Lin can teach us about college success

Hi everyone! It is Thursday and time for this week’s Three for Thursday – and Linsanity has even infiltrated my college success blog.

If you don’t know what Linsanity is, you probably aren’t into sports. That is totally fine – I just got fully into basketball this year. But, so that you can better understand the ideas I am sharing with you, I will catch you up on his story really quickly:

The rise of Jeremy Lin, a professional basketball player currently playing in the NBA, is one of the most captivating success stories that I have seen in media. To witness someone going from being a relative unknown to the absolute apex of popularity in his or her field (within the time frame of a week) is pretty amazing. We're used to this when it comes to the YouTube viral videos of the world, but you don't just become good at sports overnight. You can, however, become popular with the national media and the general masses. But why? 

What has made this story explode, and what allows me (by no means a sports journalist) to have any sort of license to offer advice based upon it, is the back-story of Lin's journey. The characteristics and circumstances of his rise to the top are pretty unique:

• He graduated from Harvard University (not traditionally a school from where NBA players develop).
• He is the first Taiwanese-American to play in the NBA.
• He was not selected in the NBA Draft.
• He was cut by two teams that had previously signed him.
• He spent time in what essentially be the Junior Varsity of the NBA (called the NBDL or d-league).
• He was almost cut by the New York Knicks before getting an opportunity to start for the team.
• He has led his team to six straight victories (some without their two best players) and is the focal point of pretty much every sports outlet right now. 

These are the things that I find most fascinating about sports: the stories, the unexpected, the hard work, the dedication, the teamwork, the people. Because I think there is a lot to learn. And I think any student striving for success can learn something from this story - some might say "three" things ;)

1. Opportunity requires patience and readiness --  This particular story is great because of the unexpected nature of the phenomenon.  There wasn’t a lead-up moment where sports pundits said, “Alright, now it is time for Jeremy Lin to be a superstar.”  And honestly, I would bet, judging from interviews like this one on ESPN, that Lin himself didn’t expect the opportunity to arise when it did.  

But the opportunity did. And it only did because of that perseverance – the kind of perseverance that reminds us that we can’t always write our own timelines – but that patience can be rewarded if we continue to push forward. 

A reminder - this guy earned an economics degree from Harvard – it isn’t like he couldn’t have abandoned the NBA dream and moved into a career elsewhere.  

But he possessed an intense readiness – and when the opportunity presented itself, he applied those skills he had developed. Imagine if he hadn’t been prepared. If he hadn't, I imagine that none of us non-hard-core sports fans would even know his name.

But we do – because of his patience and preparedness.

Are you focused on your dreams and prepared for when opportunity presents itself? Do you ever feel like giving up because it seems like things are going nowhere? Success only comes to those who push through the times when it feels like nothing is happening. It's called patience, and it's hard work. 

2. Confidence can amplify hard work – Being confident in yourself is important. But what is really amazing is what can happen when others believe in you. 

One of the things that is amazing about Jeremy Lin’s story is that momentum continues to build and build.

And as that momentum builds, Lin’s success seems to develop some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. 

People believe that he is going to save his team from mediocrity – and he is drawing upon that belief to do so. 

Always be on the lookout for your cheering squad, and don't be afraid to seek them out (e.g. mentors). Surround yourself with those who believe in you and draw upon that belief that motivate you to work hard. 

3. Genuine character is magnetic in any field – I watched highlights of a game the other night in which Lin hit a shot in the last second to beat the Toronto Raptors.  And the crowd went insane.

What’s so special about that?

The game was in Toronto.

I doubt that Lin was cheered the entire game – in fact – I am sure that he was booed or jeered just like any other star player in another town. 

But, at the end of the game, it seemed the crowd had no choice but to cheer. 

And it wasn’t just because the guy is playing his sport well.  It certainly wasn’t the first time someone has beaten a team in the last second. 

But there is an authentic humility with Lin; there is an authentic positive, encouraging, and self-aware character. And there is a teammate. In every interview I have seen with Jeremy Lin, he has used collective verbiage whenever referring to success: our, we, this team, our coach tells us…

And that leadership resounds.  It is infectious.  And it can teach us another lesson:

Let people recognize your efforts for you; you don’t have to place yourself on a pedestal in order to relish in your successes. 

Instead, by showing humility, you will find that there are others (not everyone at every time) who will want to help carry you even higher. 

And those are the supporters who will be with you throughout your journey, win or lose. 

If this advice interested you, remember to mark your calendars for March 15th, 2012, when my book, Community College Success, will be published by Norlights Press and will be available on Amazon.com.  It was inspired by a couple of other people who came to New York to make a life for themselves - my grandparents who moved to NYC from Puerto Rico :) 

How Can You Tell if You Want That Job?

Hey guys! Today is a very special day for me.

The countdown has begun – I can’t believe it – but in exactly one month, my book will be released by Norlights Press and available for purchase on Amazon.com.

It is literally a dream come true. 

So I wanted to share something special with you in celebration of this countdown. 

I want to help you answer a question that I pose in the book: a question whose answer can help bring direction and excitement to your life -->


The Question: How do I know if this person's job is the one I want when I am older? 

I've talked a lot in this blog about choosing your major. But in the end, most people want to find the major that best prepares them for a job they would like to do. And the best way to know if you like a job is to try it or to ask someone who is in it. 

So when you meet someone or sit down with them to ask their advice, how do you know if their job is really one you'd like to have? How do you know if they would be a great professional role model for you in your life? Consider the following:

1.  Is there a wow-factor beyond the car?  I think any professional role model should have a wow-factor. And I'm not talking about the whoa-they-make-a-lot-of-money-and-drive-a-sweet-car factor.

Ask anyone who makes a lot of money but is unhappy in their work and they'll tell you to find something better for yourself. People today are looking for meaning in their work. And that meaning comes from finding a wow-factor in the daily tasks that make up a professional role model's work. 

What about the actual tasks they perform pique your interest? Remember, a job is continuous, and when you find one with tasks you generally enjoy, it will have a wow-factor.

2.  What paths have they taken to gain this success? When you think about finding professional role models, consider the variety of paths to success and learn from their timeline.

The truth is, that some professionals have a very long and winding path towards their present positions. Others have what I call the wunderkind effect – that is – some circumstance they encountered, or skill-set they possessed for a particular moment that catalyzed their success.

For example, one of my good friends whom I admire greatly is a successful filmmaker. He is incredibly talented and driven; during college spent time aboard a medicine ship in Africa, working for a charity, where he met someone who hired him to do some film-work that helped ignite his career at a very young age.

Some careers have built-in timelines that you can't avoid (e.g. you cannot finish medical school and become the top doctor immediately). However, some are varied and professional mentors  can help guide you towards what will help you expedite your success, as well as how to keep going even when things aren't happening as fast as you'd like. 

Sometimes, very talented, focused people encounter the right circumstances early on; sometimes they don’t. You might want be a very talented filmmaker, but not have that connection right away – it doesn’t make you a failure; instead, it means that you will have to be patient and persistent. For the most part, success takes time, and professional mentors will have a lot of guidance in that area. Consider their path to success, and think about if you are interested in following a similar one, keeping in mind the old adage that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. 

3. What personal passion is reflected in this career goal?  This might be the most important question.  It is also the easiest to answer – what personal passion do you have that is reflected in the day-to-day work of this person’s profession?

If it takes you longer than a minute to think of one, this professional might not be the career for you. 

You don't always have to be deeply passionate about your work, but if you can choose, wouldn't you want to choose something that really interests you? 

4. How is the balance of work/life reflected in this professional culture?  This is the question that is often ignored when thinking about a professional to look up to. 

And this is also one of the most important ones.

You will want to think about your personal goals, along with your professional goals, and see how they intersect in the work culture of that potential professional role model.

If you want to travel from city to city and live in rental apartments for months out of the year, you will find that certain professions really fit into that niche and can actually provide a lot of opportunities for you. Conversely, if you plan on having time to settle down, buy a house, and one of your future goals is to have children and spend time with them at home, those professions might not suit you as well.

Anything is possible, but you'll want to consider all of your values and goals and how a particular profession fits in. You won't want to ask a professional personal questions, but you are welcome to ask how they feel about work/life balance in their profession. You'd be surprised at how honest they will be with you. 

Don’t neglect factors such as hours worked in a week, travel commitment, vacation time, etc. – they will play a factor in your future, even if they don’t seem important now. 

Remember, you get months off during the school year from classes – professionally the norm is 1-2 weeks per calendar year.  

I hope these were helpful. They are just a foundation to hopefully get you thinking more deeply the next time you meet someone whom you might want to consider as a professional role model and mentor.

I wholeheartedly believe that  one of the TOP requirements for success is having professional role models/mentors in your life. 

If you ever have any other questions or would like help in approaching professional role models,  email me at advice@communitycollegesuccess.com. 

If this interests you and you'd like to learn more (such as how to actually find professional role models and get them to mentor you), check out my upcoming book Community College Success: How to Finish with Friends, Scholarships, Internships, and the Career of Your Dreams on March 15, 2012, when it releases from Norlights Press.  I can't wait to share it with you :)

Study Tipping Tuesday - Building a Task List to Manage Your Time

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I got you a gift…a study tip for your Tuesday- I hope you like it ;)

One of the questions I am most asked by students – and one of the ones that I think requires the most attention – is “How do you manage all of the things you have to do at once?”

In a word? Prioritize.

I build a task-list, and then I prioritize it. 

Let’s try it together; I will walk you through my process.

Open up a MS Word document. In bold, create a few categories that best represent your "life" categories when it comes to tasks. For example, right now, my task list is divided into the following:

• Today (where I put tasks I will do today)
• Due Dates (where I put tasks that have specific due dates)
• Grad School (where I put my grad school HW)
• Miscellaneous (important things but do not have specific due dates)
• Business Priorities (this is not a to do list, it's a reminder of my most important goals and priorities for the next 6 months. It helps keep me focused when choosing which tasks to tackle first; for you this should be your educational priorities or life priorities).

The next thing that I do is go through my work calendar, my business calendar, my syllabi for grad school classes, and then any other personal or professional commitments that I have and fill them in on the task list. I do it in bulk whenever I receive a lot of dates/tasks at once (e.g. on a syllabi) and then update it about once per day.

Try this now – work your way through your syllabi and fill in tasks and their due dates for your projects/tests/exams are this semester. Make sure you write your to do list tasks using specific action words before each task (e.g. do, read, write, create).

(Example of one of my to do list categories right now.)
Grad School
- Research Meaningful Reception Learning and write paragraph for presentation *due Feb 13
- Create MRL PowerPoint slide for group project *due Feb 16

I compliment this with my Google Calendar. I place every item with a due date in the calendar and set SMS reminders that get text-messaged to my phone (i.e. I call this my life-saver). Whatever system you use, find a way to set up automated reminders.

Every  morning I review the task items in my to do list and move any urgent items to the "Today" category so I know to tackle them that day before or after work. And then all I have to do is focus on the "Today" category and can ignore the rest for the rest of the day. The key is knowing your priorities, and keeping it simple. As soon as you have too many things on your task list you'll never want to look at it. Stick with the most important things and never let it get too cluttered.
  

A lot of you ask me about procrastination, and the truth is, I really never procrastinate. While some people work better under pressure, I work better without pressure. I love the feeling of true free time, with nothing hanging over my head. And this kind of system does wonders for your grades.

Ask yourself: do you always feel on top of your life and schedule? Are your grades the best they can possibly be? Are you known for being organized and responsible? Are you meeting the goals you have for your life? If the answer is a resounding YES to all these questions then the organizational system you use now is working great.

If the answer is no - why not give this a try, and let me know how it goes!  And if you have any great systems you use, feel free to share. =)