College Fashion for Bros Part 2 - The Interview

Since the first version got some great feedback - I decided to do a follow-up.  Here College Fashion Tips for Bros Part 2 - The Interview :)

What to do When He’s Just Not That Into You

The movie He’s Just Not That Into You came on TV this weekend and I just had to watch.

It’s a chick-flick that features an adorable desperate girl (played by my fav Ginnifer Goodwin) who serves as a compilation and slight hyperbole of everything girls do when they pine after a guy who’s just not that into them.

It’s a pretty funny movie, and it does bring to light a lot of things that girls and guys tend to do in relationships – especially when one is “chasing” the other to no avail.

If you’ve ever chased someone who’s just not that into you (e.g. it starts on the recess playground), and spent time wishing something would change, you know it can be a pretty awful feeling.

It’s one of the most distracting and all encompassing things. And it usually leads nowhere except down a long, long road of analysis, drama, and false hope.

With Valentines Day coming up this week, it can be a fun time for some and a slightly depressing time for others. I was single many Valentines Days and can remember that feeling all to well.

If you have a special person in your life to spend Valentines Day with – awesome, enjoy it. For those of you who are single and loving it – have a great day to and just forget about this stupid-holiday-created-by-the-greeting-card-companies. ;)

And for those of you who have someone you are wishing would be into you – think about really letting them go. He’s Just Not That Into You is a great reminder that people can sometimes put too much of their great energy into a person who just doesn’t deserve it or appreciate it. It happens to almost all of us, and it says nothing about who you are.

What kills me is when I see students struggling with classes and look generally drained of their usual life and energy because of a relationship that just isn’t happening. It affects their grades, their happiness, and their general zest for life. 

The irony of He’s Just Not That Into You is that almost everyone ends up with a relationship at the end. But life doesn’t always work that way. And when great relationships happen they almost never evolve out of the kind of pining and wishing and chasing after someone who just doesn’t like you the way you wish they did.

If you ever find yourself in a place where you’re not genuinely chasing after your life because you’re chasing after someone else, put a stop to it. Let go. Find friends and other activities to replace the spot where you were giving your attentions to someone who just doesn’t see you that way.

And remember – the best relationships, the times when someone is really into you, will usually occur when you are fully yourself, fully in engaging in your own life with vigor and joy – not worrying or wishing after anyone and simply engaging with your future, seeing what happens along the way.

Happy Vday <3

The Joy is in the Journey

I was watching a show on OWN a few months ago – it profiled Simon Cowell and his path to stardom and television success. 

And there was a line from the famous American Idol (and now X-Factor) judge that stuck with me. 

Cowell was discussing that for of all of the successes, millions, and endeavors that he has achieved, nothing rivaled the journey and struggle that occurred when American Idol was green-lighted and he and the producers faced the task of making it a hit show.  

His point? 

Getting there is the adventure. The joy is in the journey. 

I think that is an important concept to remember in our world, especially in the society that we live in.

Because everywhere around us, people are fretting over retirement, debt, and a fear of losing everything that they have spent a lifetime gaining. There seems to be this mentality that if we live our lives right, we will one day be able to sit back and say: well, I'm at a stopping point. Good job I'm done. 

It's not that things like investment aren’t worthwhile – it’s just that there is something off with a world that encourages people to spend their entire lives worrying that if they make a mistake, the last few years of their lives will lack some standard of comfort or stability. 

I think it is a trapping of our modern society; the idea itself overlooks the fact that so much can change. It is naïve to ignore that much of our future can’t be predicted. And I think that this train of thought pulls our thoughts away from the present.

But, this isn’t a call to be spontaneous or to live on the edge.

I just want to encourage you to remember this: 

The joy is in the journey - the moments, decisions, and interactions that are happening to you right now. Those are the ones to invest in, to find  happiness in, and to cherish. 

Because even as the journey of the present builds our future, the future will always be fluid – and require us to adjust and adapt to things daily.  

And we owe it to ourselves to remember that there is no stopping point in living – you didn’t graduate high school and stop – you won’t graduate college and stop – you won’t get a job and stop – and you won’t retire and stop. 

Instead – you will find joy in each of those accomplishments, appreciating the obstacles and triumphs along the way, and continue to invest in and build yourself up as you go, helping others along the way.

So keep this in mind in your college journey – you aren’t working your way to some stopping point – you are building – you are getting there.

And getting there is where the joy is. 

3 for Thursday – Graffiti, Libraries, & YouTube hair tutorials

Here are this week’s 3 interesting things to help bring some balance to your pursuit of success :)

1. When believing turns to millions– A Yahoo! article (originally from the New York Times) recently shared a story about the artist hired by Mark Zuckerberg to paint the original walls of the Facebook headquarters and his recent multi-million dollar payout. When he painted the graffiti walls was given a choice – either choose a $60,000-dollar immediate payout, or receive stock in the company. 

I bet you can guess - he chose the stocks.

He saw something in the company and instead of an immediate reward, he held out for something he believed in. I think a lesson is to be learned from that. Check out the article to read about how much he ended up making now that Facebook has gone public.

2. Don’t underestimate the public library – today I went to the library during my lunch break to pay a $1.23 late fee so I could put a new book on hold that I really want to read. It literally never ceases to amaze me that there is still a place anyone can go to read a multitude of books for free. There were also a lot of people using the library's computers for homework. Need a quiet place to study? Your public library could be another option. And of course it’s a great place to read; there is something inspiring about being around lots of books. Try it.

3. My fav YouTube hair and makeup tutorials - A few weeks ago I read an article about a British YouTube sensation who made makeup tutorials to based on celebrity looks. I love hearing British people talk so I checked it out. She did a makeup tutorial of Pippa Middleton and I found her so adorable that I wanted to see if I could actually do what she did. I tried it out, eye-makeup remover ready to go because I assumed there was no way I could make it look like she did. But I was shocked to find out I could actually do it exactly, because she had explained it so well! And now I do my makeup like that almost every day.

And just a few days ago, I needed to figure out how to curl my hair when it’s parted down the middle in a way that would look like big waves and keep my hair out of my face. A few search terms in YouTube later I stumbled across this video that solved my hair problem. The girl in this video’s voice can be a little tinny, but she’s kind of funny and cute because she seems to genuinely want to help. I am pretty good at following/copying these kind of things, but never figure them out on my own – so kudos to these ladies who make these videos and share their tricks with the world. Enjoy! (and feel free to share with me any of your favorites).

Be the Bright Spot in Someone’s Cloudy Day

I am a huge fan of Dale Carnegie’s classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I actually referenced one of my favorite lines from the book in my graduation speech at Stetson University:

“Tell me how you get your feeling of importance, and I’ll tell you what you are.”

I think we all crave to feel important, valued, and appreciated.

I also think that one of the saddest realities about our world is that many are often lacking the human interaction, compassion, and encouragement that fulfills that personal craving. 

Ever felt alone? Unimportant? Forgotten? 

So, while it has been a few years since I graduated college and shared this concept with my fellow graduates, I wanted to revisit the challenge that I issued that day.

For you. And for myself. 

The challenge was, and still is, to overcome the mechanical nature of our social transactions. 

In retail, in fast food, in hallways, in stores, in classrooms, and in some of our own friendships.

Smile. Look a person in the eye. 

Ask them how they are doing. And mean it.

And then pause to really listen.

Invite an old Facebook friend out to coffee. Call a friend who you haven’t gotten back to in a while. Apologize to someone you know you’ve wronged. Reach out to someone new in class.

Because you’ll never know the kind of impact these small things will have. 

We shouldn’t measure ourselves by how important others think we are. We should measure ourselves by how important we make others feel.

In short, be the bright spot in someone's cloudy day.