The Transfer Transformation

I transferred from community college to a university I dyed my hair blonde.

This wasn't the best look for me, but I was compelled to try. Why? Because I was going through an identity crisis/transformation when I transferred. 

Have you ever noticed that celebrities, or maybe even your friends, tend to alter their physical appearance after a breakup or after they get married? Ashley Simpson just got a divorce and chopped off all her hair and dyed it blonde. Vanessa Ann Hudgens and Zack Efron recently split and she just got a tattoo. Simple and shallow, maybe,but it is also deeply psychological. 

When I transferred from community college to a private school I had a hard time getting adjusted. Everyone at this new school had been living together for 2 years by the time I arrived. They also still lived together while I commuted 30 minutes there and back every day. And most of all, most of them were rich.

I'll never forget sitting down in my first class and trying to strike up a conversation with this sweet blonde girl in my class. We started talking about our majors and what we wanted to do, and her dream was to work for Chanel Makeup. At the time I didn't even know Chanel had makeup, and it seemed absurd that such a fancy purse brand would be able to hike the price of makeup just to slap two opposite C's on it (okay so last week I bought Chanel nail polish but it was the only nail polish in the department store and it was an emergency).

But I'll never forget how simply out of touch and out of place I felt in that moment. Once she mentioned Chanel I had nowhere else to go with the conversation. Me, who started up countless conversations in every community college class I had. Now all of a sudden here I was with these kids whose parents were doctors and pilots, who had designer purses and internships already lined up. And I couldn't relate. 

So unconsciously I dyed my hair blonde in order to fit in. This was all I did. I didn't join a sorority or stay out late or do things I shouldn't. I just dyed my hair. And then dyed it back a semester later because it just wasn't me. But as I've hoped you've figured out now this isn't about hair color. It's about adjusting to new life situations and managing and maintaining your identity so that you grow and not wither. 

I almost withered when I transferred but I soon found my place, re-established my identity, and made the most of my experience. 

When I graduated and moved on to my first real job, however, I actually did wither. Like Ashley Simpson I chopped off all my long hair that I loved so much and started wearing suits. The over-achiever that I was I read books about how to be and dress professional and I followed the rules exactly. The rules said you needed to not be so girly and be more masculine. So I put away my flowered blouses and started wearing loafers and pants and cut off all my hair. And I was bored and I missed myself. 

I can't remember exactly when or how it happened, but one day I realized that pants suits just weren't me. I realized I could still express myself and reach my professional goals. I didn't have to compromise that much; and if I wasn't feeling happy or confident, how could I be expected to bring my best ideas and creativity to my work?

So while I couldn't go back to the bright sun dresses and eclectic gladiator sandals that I wore in college, I started growing my hair out. And wearing flowered blouses. And dresses. Skirts. And heels. And I felt like myself again. 

The inspiration came for this post after browsing Facebook (I call it browsing...not stalking) and seeing a few of my favorite transfer students from both my tutoring days and my community college work who had altered their looks. One of my favorite old smartie-pants tutoring students started wearing these big glasses. Another started dressing a bit more urban. And the other chopped off all her hair. 

I think it's fun to explore new looks and reconsider your identity now and again. In fact, it is crucial for growth and development. However, especially as you transfer to different colleges, move, change jobs, or start or end new relationships, you want to make sure that the identities you create are yours and yours alone. Deep down you will know when the change is for someone or something else. And you will know when you look in the mirror when you really feel like yourself. 

So my challenge for you today is simple: wear something nice that makes you feel like you to school or work today. Though it may seem shallow, how you look can often reflect how you feel, and how you feel can reflect how you interact and perform. Try dressing nice to school every day - especially during test days - and notice how you feel and act. And also, don't do anything too drastic when you transfer. 

And finally for my greatest pearl of wisdom that you will ever receive in this blog --> Wait at least a semester before dying your hair blonde :)

Prioritizing Heart, Mind, & Life

I started writing this mornings post 3 times on 3 different topics and realized I couldn’t quite get in the zone because I am so overwhelmingly busy. So now I am deciding to just write very genuinely what is on my mind.

Lately my life has been incredibly exciting, but also insanely busy. I can honestly say this month has been the busiest of my life, and so far there is no end in sight.

My apartment is a mess, I still haven’t unpacked from the past 2 weekend’s trips, and I’m weirdly tired a lot. However, a lot of great things have been happening and so I have to remind myself that this is just a phase and I will eventually have time to clean my house and read some of the books that are sitting on my nightstand. Until then, I sometimes feel like I am in this survival mode, and I really want to break out.

I started last night by running, which I hadn’t done in a while. And I took Sunday to simply relax. Now it’s way too early on Monday morning and I made a list of everything I have to do this morning before work. #1 Blog. #2 Vlog. #3 Grad school HW, #4 Review presentations for work today.

Cleaning still hasn’t made it on the list yet.

And while I absolutely hate having a messy apartment, I have let the house go at the expense of things that are much more important to me, such as speaking at the Dream Gala, writing my book, and spending time with my husband.

It’s all about priorities, and while sometimes prioritizing means some things simply get left behind, that is when prioritizing is most important. 

Because when you get into those super-crazy-life-is-so-busy modes, you are in danger of leaving the important things behind.

So how do you make sure you do not leave what is important behind? How do you decide what is important? Often, I work with students who say they put school first, but often the way they spend their time proves otherwise. And what I see worst of all, is that many students prioritize grades and studying above sleep and health. Not good. Not necessary.

While a good study habit is to carve out a few hours in the library to study and prioritize all of the HW you have to do that day, another important life habit is to have a list of priorities so you know how to act and how to spend your time when things get hectic.

Every one’s priority lists are going to be very different and uniquely personal. However, a few things to consider:

• If you don’t sleep well you will get sick and your mental capacities will be weakened.
• When you are sick nothing else matters, and you don’t have the full energy to get things done.
• If you get the best grades and achieve monetary success, will it matter if you alienate the people you care about?
• If you have tons of friends but end up with poor grades and working in a mediocre boring job, will it be worth the time spent 8 hours/day in misery?
• If your house is a disaster but it means you had a wonderful weekend with your husband after not seeing him for 2 weekends in a row, is it worth it?  For me, the answer is a resounding Yes.

These are not easy decisions to make. Especially when you are in the eye of the “busy” storm, it is hard to prioritize, as we seem to think whatever is the most imminent is the priority. But living like that will never help you reach your goals.

Take a step back today and think about your true-life priorities. Now think about how you are spending your time today. Do they coincide? If they don’t, start thinking about how to change your routine and refocus your life so that you are putting your energy towards the things that matter most, and learning to let go of the things that just aren’t as important.

And on this Valentine’s Day, especially if you are feeling sad and single, remember that college is such an exciting and formative time in your life, and too often students let the drama of relationships impede their experience and future success.  Look at all the relationships in your life and be thankful for the ones that lift you up and make you better every day. If they don’t, you should seriously consider why you let them in your life.

The heart especially must be guided with priorities. Because sometimes it can mess you up big time.

Not to be a downer on Valentines Day, but I am speaking from my heart <3 

Happy Valentines Day. 

Super Bowl-Style Momentum Shift

So, I have to be completely honest with you. I sat down to write Monday’s post during the Super Bowl, and turned to Jeremy and said “I don’t know what to write about – I did and said so much during the conference that I feel kind of drained” (and of course the Halftime show didn’t do much to inspire either).  Jeremy thought for a half a second and then said one word – “momentum.” 

Momentum is exactly what I need to keep in mind right now. For those of you that haven’t seen the videos below, I have been away at a Student State Government conference for the past few days and had an incredible time, as I do at almost any student-centered retreat where learning and leadership are the goals. 


However, like many exciting and inspirational experiences that take place away from home, sometimes when you get back you forget or put aside all of the new ideas you had during your new experience.

And sadly, eventually, no matter how great you felt during a motivational speech, or what notes you took during an educational session, without momentum, those ideas will die.

There’s something I haven’t mentioned yet. When I started to write this post – I mean the second I typed the first letter of the first paragraph – the Super Bowl announcer came on and said “..…momentum shift.” And thus a blog title born and a topic confirmed. Fate.

Oddly enough a momentum shift is exactly what happens during great conferences and any other moment in life when you realize that you want to start channeling your energy in new directions. Having that momentum shift in your head is nothing short of transformative, and is absolutely vital for growth. 

And yet, just as football players often visualize winning a Super Bowl before they step on the field, the visualization is important, but it’s what happens after that mental shift that makes all the difference. It’s how you play the game. 

What are the steps you need to take today, right now, to complete your momentum shift? What ideas have started to blossom in your head and change your perspectives? It’s time to fully change your momentum. Don’t let the day-to-day get in the way of what you know you are supposed to do with the new knowledge and epiphanies you've gained.

As the announcer just said again, this very second (no joke) – “the momentum has totally shifted.”

It’s your turn. Even if you feel like you’re down in life by 2 proverbial touchdowns, choose to completely shift your momentum and direct all your talents where deep down you know they are supposed to go.

Get in the game.

(P.S. I can’t end this blog without reveling in the fact that I have written 2 posts in a row using football as a metaphor. To put it in perspective, just a few days ago I had to ask Jeremy to explain to me again what things like “3^rd and 13” mean. So thank you for helping me discover ways to appear to be athletically competent).

Football and Community College

Today I watched community college students play football on the beach and I felt inspired to write this week’s entry immediately (which means I was subjecting my laptop to splashing and sand…but it was worth it).

I should tell you right now I’m not really into sports. I’ve tried but I have never really gotten into it. However, I am aware that I am in the minority, and I recognize the social implications that sports bring to a community. And yet often, sports are not a huge part of community college.

Sports are a huge identifier for university students. It brings people together; it gives them immediate common ground. There is something powerful when so many thousands of people are gathered together in a stadium to cheer together. It brings a certain camaraderie, emotive connection, and sense of pride that helps me understand why it is so popular.  

Pride. Often community college students do not feel pride in their College. Often, they feel they are less than because they are not at a university (see “Crying in Community College” for my story). That is what I hope this blog to help instill. I want to bring pride to community college. I want community college graduates to feel such pride in their school that when they move forward and become successful they will want to give back to their community college.

But unfortunately that is not the case. Alumni associations are almost non-existent in community colleges. And as soon as people transfer they immediately identify with their university. Why is that?

There are many reasons I think – for one, community colleges tend to be seen as a drive-through–limbo version education. You go to class, you go home, and wait for the “real thing.”  

But community colleges can and should be so much more than that.  Football is the other piece to this puzzle, I haven’t forgotten.

I was on a leadership retreat with the community college where I work and there is a few hours of free time on the schedule. I was in charge of getting pictures of the students hanging out on the beach during this break, and when I walked out I saw them all playing touch football. And for me, it was inspiring watching them laugh, interact, build bonds, and simply have fun. Normal college stuff, right?

Not always for community college students. There aren’t often as many opportunities to build new relationships with people you don’t know. Step outside of your high school friends. Discover new perspectives and simply have fun during a time in your life where you typically are not tied down to a 40-hour per week job.

Though as a community college student we may not pack stadiums, paint our faces, and cheer for a team to run a ball across a field, we can still play on the beach. We can still invite a friend from class out for coffee. We can still run clubs, make an impact, and build relationships that last a lifetime.

But the catch is, since community colleges don’t always have the built in social network that comes from football, dorm rooms, and alumni associations, we have to create it for ourselves. We have to change the conversation and create pride in our school. And since I’m not a community college student anymore, I am counting on you.

So the challenge today is very simple. Invite at least one person from community college that you didn’t go to high school with to hang out. If you’re a group-oriented person, get a bunch of people together to go play football on the beach.  Go out to dinner. Volunteer. Invite someone over. Have a conversation. Connect. Socialize. Engage. And have fun.

The more positive social experiences you create in your community college the more connected you will feel once you graduate with your four-year degree and go on to be incredibly successful like I know you will (especially if you’re reading this because that tells me you are looking for ways to reach your full potential). And when you are incredibly rich and successful I want you to get involved with your community college foundation and give back. Or maybe even help start an alumni association.

Community college can be amazing. But you have to make the effort. And if you do, not only will you enhance your life, you will impact the college experience of all those with whom you interact.

So go on, start the next community college ‘football game.' I’ll be cheering for you.

The Truth About The Book Burden

A special thank you on this week's vlog. 

Books in college get a bad rep. I know because my office is across from our bookstore.

People wait in long lines and empty their wallets for books that someone else is making them buy. And then some professor tries to make them read the books for quizzes and tests.

Sounds like fun, no?

Since books come with this heavy weight of duty and work, reading becomes this slow chore that has little relevance to your day-to-day life.

I’m here to tell you that if you ignore that pull towards dissatisfaction with reading and embrace the knowledge right at your fingertips you can actually change the course of your life.

I know that sounds dramatic, but I firmly believe it is true.

I can trace almost every great thing in my life to something I learned in a book. From starting this blog to choosing a graduate program, books have guided my life and can change yours if you are brave enough to let go of the book burden and reach for something more. 

And once you do, the book burden will evaporate and you will feel lighter with the knowledge you have gained. All you have to do is start reading books that are relevant to you, your life, and your interests.

So what are your interests? What do you want to do with your life?  What struggles are you facing? What are you unsure of? What is something you’ve always wanted to explore? What have you always wanted to do but always felt it was beyond your reach?

Read about it and I guarantee you will find answers and be empowered with the tips and knowledge you need to do what you want with your life.

Reading non-fiction books are the fastest way to hear someone else’s advice, research, and experience, and as you’ll soon learn from the networking book I’m currently writing, the best way to figure out your life is to listen to the advice and experience of others.

So are you pumped and ready to rid yourself of the book burden and start changing your life but not sure where to start?

Here is a step-by-step guide to get you started (oh and yes, this is this weeks challenge):

   1.  Go to http://www.amazon.com/

   2. Choose “Books” under the search drop down menu  

   3.  Start typing in subjects that interest you. Consider “how to be a [insert dream job here]” or a biography of someone you admire.

         4. If you’re not sure what your interests are, start with these key words:

a.      Choose major

b.     Career test

c.      Internships

d.     Money for college

e.      First resume

f.       Personality test

g.      Procrastination

h.     Time management

i.       Networking

     5. Buy the book on amazon.com, half.com (cheaper), or see if you can find it at your college or local library for free. If you can’t find it free, buy it – trust me. There is no  better  investment than purchasing a book that you know is going to help you figure out your life.

If you start reading books, I can 100% guarantee you will become successful beyond your wildest dreams. IF, of course, you actually read them and put the advice into practice.

So if you’ve read (or watched) this far I’m very impressed with you. I know books aren’t the most exciting topic, but I promise you if you take this advice it will be the most rewarding thing I could ever give you.

So get your first book today, and buy it if you have to. There is no better investment you can make than in your own learning and success.

Signing off on today’s Monday Morning Motivation,

Isa