Don't read this if you know exactly what you want to do with your life

Yesterday I had lunch with some friends who are in their last year of college and are feeling very anxious about the next steps. They shared:

"Ugh, I hate not knowing what I'm going to do with my life!"

And I thought I'd share with you what I shared with them.

It's okay. 

You don't have to know. 

While it is really important to have some kind of plan so you can focus your energy in a particular direction and towards developing a particular skill set, it's okay if you don't know exactly what your post-college future will look like. 

For many of you, the jobs you will have don't even exist yet. If you had asked me after college what I'd be doing I could have never pictured this. 

While traditional careers lend themselves to clear five-year plans, we are in a time of transition and rapid economic change, so the picture can be pretty uncertain. 

But the good news? 

In my many interviews and readings about successful people, it's become clear that those with the most exciting and successful careers were never quite able to answer the question "what is your dream job." 

A lot of really successful people who do big things in the world didn't know what their future would hold when they started out.

But of course that doesn't mean they just stared at the sky hoping the answer would come. Most feel that same anxiety about the future, but they don't let that stop them from working really hard to grow and contribute in the meantime. 

This became more evident than ever to me in the book I started reading last week, My Life With Martin Luther King, Jr., by Coretta Scott King. 

I was struck by a section where Coretta explained that when he was in his early 20's MLK Jr. knew he wanted to be a minister, and knew he cared deeply about the discrimination and segregation in the south, but he never could have imagined he'd be leading a civil rights movement. 

What he did during his early 20's, however, was key, and it's the same for anyone who wants to succeed even if they are unsure what they are going to do with their life at the moment:

1) Learn - MLK Jr. was determined to get the best training possible, and attained his PhD by the age of 25. Coretta explains that his intense studying did not stop after he received his doctoral diploma - he was always learning. 

Do not limit yourself to your college curriculum, and don't stop studying after college. Surround yourself with books that can teach you more about the subjects that fascinate you. 

2) Contribute - MLK Jr. began speaking publicly at a very young age, and his oratory skills were incredible. He immediately began using those skills to inspire and uplift others, becoming an assistant minister when he was in his early 20's. He recognized the privileges he had growing up, and began immediately using his oratory talents and education to empower others with a sense of hope and self that served as a crucial foundation to the beginnings of the civil rights movement. 

You should not wait to contribute. Do it now, with whatever you've got. You never know what it could be preparing you for. 

3) Act - When Rosa Parks decided to stay in her seat, MLK Jr. and the people he had been working with saw an opportunity to do something big. They organized the bus boycott and he soon became the symbol and the leader of the civil rights movement. Reading about his personal journey from his wife's perspective highlights how his years of learning and his spirit of contribution came to prepare him to lead such a crucial moment in history. 

When you engage deeply, learn intensely, and care about others you will see opportunities no one else does. And when you act, you never have to think about "what you should do with your life." Because you'll just be doing it. 

101 Secrets for Your Twenties

Disclosure: The author of the book I'm referencing in this post mailed me a free copy of his book and asked that I write about it if I liked it, with the full understanding that I was under no obligation to write about it, especially if I didn't like it. Turns out, I loved it and wanted to share it with you. I was in no way paid to do this and all opinions are my own. I only share resources on this blog that I personally think will be helpful to my readers. 

I got Paul Angone's new book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties in the mail yesterday. I opened it up and read it completely in one sitting, with laughter punctuating every few minutes. 

I'm currently twenty-six, so I loved the way this book outlines the twenty-something crisis with humor and a healthy dose of reality, plus heaping helpings of hope.  

My first few years out of college left me feeling frustrated and depressed; you could often find me gorging on Oreos and Full House re-runs, wondering if I'd ever feel like myself again. 

I read a lot of books about the twenty-something crisis during that time, but none made me feel like what I was going through was part of the process of getting to where I eventually wanted to go. 

A lot of them felt like they were saying "yes, there is a 20-something crisis, aren't you glad everyone is miserable and it's not just you?" I wanted more. I wanted hope. I wanted something to do. I also needed to laugh. 

Paul's book will definitely make you laugh, make you feel less alone, appreciate this time of live, and give you courage to take the risks necessary to take your life where you want it to go. 

Below are some of my favorite secrets and tips in the book:

#2 The possibility for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same space. If you are not willing to be embarrassed, you're probably not willing to be great.

#3 Making and keeping friendships in your 20s is harder than G.I. Joe's abs.

Giving everything you have to find the right job is the most important job you'll ever have.

#22 The grass is always greener on the other side, until you get there and realize it's because of all the manure.

From the "22 Signs You're Having a Quarter-Life Crisis" list: You glare at your cat as you get ready for work and say "Gosh I wish I had your life.

#43 The most dangerous job you can have in your 20s is a comfortable one. 

#99 Success in your 20s is more about setting the table than enjoying the feast.

I watched a special on TV billionaire Simon Cowell once where he was being interviewed about the unprecedented success of American Idol. He sat back in his interview chair and, looking sincere and thoughtful, told the interviewer that the best part of the experience was really the beginning, when they were working long hours, taking risks, and had no idea if what they were doing would be successful. That part, he said, was the most fun. 

Growth is painful, but looking back, even billionaires find working to make the money was way more exciting than having it.

Top 3 books to save you from the real world blues

I love books. Like, really love. Like, still-use-my-library-card-every-week love. And I'm a huge fan of reading non-fiction books during any stage of life where you don't feel like you are 100% confident on the best ways to succeed in that stage (i.e. every stage of life). 


College success books are awesome (e.g. if I didn't think that I wouldn't have written one), but sometimes once you get out of college is when the real learning (and confusion) begins. 


When I graduated I brought stacks and stacks of books home from the library, devouring them with hopes to uncover some secret treasure map to lead me out of this crazy post-graduate jungle of confusion. 


While I never found that map, the books taught me that the map doesn't exist - no one has it. And that made me feel so much better. The books also gave me practical tips on what to do and how to survive in this new world without exams and grades and awards and constant-friends. 


Below are my top three favorite post-grad books (in no particular order) that I highly recommend in order to get your post-grad life started on the right foot. 

Life After College by Jenny Blake shows you that while there is no magical treasure map, there is such thing as a practical road map to help you see the big picture and figure out what you want to do with your life. 


She shares the practical road map that helped her on her journey - a journey that led her to a job as a Career Development Program Manager at Google. 


Jenny writes in a way that makes you feel like she is sitting across from you at a coffee shop, sharing her story and advice.


That's how she is in real life too. She is seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met.


Jenny chronicles her experience as an overachiever who felt burned out at age 25. It all changed when a career coach asked her "What do you feel like you were born to do?"


This is a perfect book to get with a few friends and talk about once a week for a few months. I actually started a post-grad book club out of college when I was feeling super lonely - and it was amazing. This is a perfect book to start with.


You'll want to read Jenny's book with one of those pens that have a highlighter on the back. It is really a workbook that invites you in to be the author of your own life. From figuring out your core values to learning how to still have fun and relax in adulthood, this book will bring you into that conversation. And the treasure you will uncover at the end of this road map, is you.  

Getting from College to Career by Lindsey Pollak is a fantastic books that embodies the idea that career exploration is an adventure. As Lindsey puts it: "I didn't know my right career path until I saw it, heard it, touched it.This is why throughout the book you'll notice my obsession with taking action, trying new things, meeting new people, and having a wide variety of experiences" (p.xiii). 

I love this. It is so true. 

Lindsey's book is packed with practical tips to get you moving in the right direction to discover more about yourself and the opportunities that are out there for you. This is a book to act on now - while in college - and when you graduate. It lays out everything you need to do before you walk into that first interview. It will get you moving fast towards getting your first job out of college.  

They Don't Teach Corporate in College by Alexandra Levit is a great reminder that while getting your first job out of college seems like the hardest part, sometimes managing the new corporate world is the real battle. 


School is comfortable. As Alexandra puts it, "We know how the story goes: if you work hard, you get good grades and everyone is happy. The business world, however, is another animal entirely" (p.17). 


While Alexandra explains no one holds your hand or is there to break your fall on the corporate ladder, her book will make you feel like she is holding your hand the whole way.


You can enter the corporate world without this book and you will learn most of the lessons it shares - but you will learn them the really hard way. And many people never come to understand how to use the things Alexandra teaches in this book to move forward in their careers and their lives. Reading this book will give you a huge advantage. 


Each of these books will clear out new paths that you didn't know existed - and warn you against the treacherous ones -  as you begin your adventure-trek into adulthood and the "real world." Happy reading! 


Jenny, Lindsey, and Alexandra are also all pretty wonderful people and dynamic college speakers - you can follow them on Twitter.