How to make the most of social media

Social media is the primary way most of us connect with other people, and despite the proliferation of meme's and pictures of people's pets (which I'll admit, I love), social media can lead to some of the most meaningful connections in your life.

However, the most powerful social media relationships occur when you add the other senses to your interactions (e.g. you need to see them in person, shake their hand or hug them, hear their voice, and...smell them? Ok that'd be weird, but you know what I mean).

There is something chemical that happens when we meet with people in person that will never be replicated online. And the bonds you create with people in person are the ones that will affect your life - both personally and professionally. 

So how do you turn a social media connection into a more meaningful connection? There are two strategies depending on your purpose, for friends or for business:

For Friends

Too often we let social media take the place of in-person hang outs with friends. I call it the social shortcut - and I am so guilty of it. 

Instead of making the effort to invite a friend to coffee or chat on the phone (do people even do that anymore?), the social shortcut allows you to just write something on their wall or send them a message. This works great for most things, but it keeps us from getting really close with people. And as humans, we need to feel that closeness with others in a live community. 

So here's what you can do (don't worry, I'm not going to make you call anyone): instead of just messaging a friend or writing on their wall an open-ended "I miss you" or "we should hang out," look at your calendar, figure out when you're free, and then text or message them an invite to do XYZ on one of your free days. Give them all the times you're available that week and ask them to pick the time that they're free too.

Make the effort. Keep inviting people until someone says yes. Don't get discouraged. Because once you come home after hanging out in person, you will notice you get a feeling that social media just can't touch. 

For Business

There is a lot of hype around how social media can help people in business. Some are skeptical, however, because it's difficult to quantify how social media effects sales or careers.  

I've always been a huge believer that social media can help you find mentors and develop professional connections, and I've recently experienced how valuable those professional connections can be - especially when you translate them to in person meetings.

The third section of my book is all about how to do this, but in short, simply  interact with them as you normally would wherever you "met" them (e.g. Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook) and get to know them by what they do on social media. Build a casual "internet" relationship first. 

Then, send a direct message or e-mail saying why you admire them and ask to chat on the phone for ten minutes to ask their advice. If they live nearby, ask to meet them in person. Something magical happens when you connect with someone in person. I'm sure this is documented in a sociology book somewhere (and I'm almost sure 'magic' is the scientific term). 

When you make that in-person connection, you become familiar with someone in a deeper way - a way that lends itself much more closely to developing a mutually beneficial relationship where you help each other in your careers, and many times, your lives. 

I owe so much to social media, and some of my most treasured in-person friendships and business opportunities have come from Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn. 

And just so we're clear: Don't meet online strangers in dark alleyways. Do make the effort to make your social media connections count. 

Transfer advice from a former international student

Below is transfer advice from one of my good friends and incredible community college alums Alejandra Pozzo (she's also in my book). After attending Palm Beach State, Ale (short for Alejandra) transferred to the University of Miami and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing in May 2012.

As a Jack Kent Cooke scholarship winner and former international student, Ale has incredible advice to offer that I wanted to share with you. Below is an interview I had with her recently: 

What led you to community college?
As I graduated high school, I learned that my parents’ economic situation was deteriorating. To make matters worse, my citizenship status was not resolved, which meant that I would have to pay for college as an international student. International students pay two to three times as much as regular students, something that seemed out of reach for me. I made the decision to attend community college part time, while I worked full time to pay for my tuition.

How did you make your transfer decision? 
I knew I wanted to transfer out of community college eventually and obtain a Bachelor’s degree. However, I was facing many challenges. I applied myself and became very involved on campus. I met a great mentor, who introduced me to private scholarships that I could apply to and guided me through the application process. When I became a Jack Kent Cooke scholar, my life changed and my biggest obstacle suddenly tumbled down.

What were your biggest obstacles in adjusting to your transfer institution?
The academic course load. I went from being a part-time student to having 17 credits my first semester.

What helped you the most in getting adjusted at your transfer institution?
As cliché as it may sound, what helped me the most was the fire within me; the passion I had to get a nursing degree is certainly what empowered me to push through all the difficulties I faced.

What helped you make friends at your transfer institution?
Making friends was easy because I went into a nursing program, so I had classes with the same group of students all day. My second year, however, I expanded my friendships beyond the nursing school. I joined different committees and organizations that were interesting to me. I met one of my closest friends in one of these organizations. It is important to surround yourself with people who share the same values and ideals as you.

What advice can you share that you wish someone would have shared with you before you transferred from community college to a university?
Transferring is not easy at first. But once you get through that hurdle, everything will start flowing better. However, it is essential that you have a clear vision of what your goal is – beyond getting an education. Be passionate about the career you chose to follow, your drive and determination will determine your success. Also, know which study habits work for you, everyone is different. Do not be afraid to seek guidance from your professors, especially if you are struggling with your academics.

Make a point to identify your weaknesses and strengths – and work on both. Do not compare yourself to others, you are as good as all you give and that is a wonderful thing. 

Effective time management is crucial when you are juggling school, work, organizations…and life outside all of these areas! Organizing my days, weeks, and months (yes, months) worked well. If I knew a certain time of the month would be very busy, I would attempt to complete as many tasks as possible when I had free time so that my responsibilities would not pile up.

And most importantly, enjoy every minute of it – academics should be your priority, but they should not take over your entire college experience.

Great advice - thanks Ale! 

If you have a transfer success story to share on the blog, please visit isaadney.com to learn more!

What NOT to do when networking

With only about 30% of all jobs posted online, networking is the best way to get a job. And as I share in my book, the best way to network as a college student is to ask professionals you admire for advice. The formula is pretty simple:

1. Say why you admire them.
2. Ask to meet with them for 10-15min to learn more about them & their job.
3. Leave an easy way for them to make the appointment. 

I've used this formula over and over again. From winning a $110,000 scholarship to now being able to live my dreams working from home, the mentors I found through my career center, mutual friends, and social media changed my life. 

However, now that I have progressed in my professional career, I am now on the other end of those e-mails, with students asking me for help and professionals asking me for business. 

Most of the e-mails I get from students are genuine asks for help, and I love nothing more than carving out 10 minutes of my day to e-mail them back a heartfelt answer.

But there are some e-mails that don't warm my heart. There are some that are just plain annoying. And trust me - you do not want to be one of the annoying people when it comes to building relationships. Because whether or not that person can help you get a job right away, you never know how they could affect your professional life in the long term. 

Below are the worst types of e-mails I get. I wish I could show you examples of the ones I receive, but I can't because these types of e-mails get deleted immediately. You do not want to be one of these people:

1. The Generic. These are the form e-mails that people send out in mass, without any personalization. Something like "Hi friend - I've read your blog and I think you would love for me to write an article for it as I have a lot to say about your topic." 

Any e-mail sent in mass is not worth sending. Personalize any e-mail request you ever send to a specific person. Use their name, and do your research so you have something unique to say to show them you care about who they are and what they do. 

2. The Me Me Me. These are the e-mails that devote a few words to the recipient of the e-mail, and then go on and on about themselves and their work and what they want. They share too much about their accomplishments just for the sake of it, and by the end of the e-mail you can tell they've never actually done any research on you, have any interest in what you do, and are just trying to get something from you and benefit from the work you have already done. They seem like they are trying to take a short cut.

Getting advice is a short cut, the best kind, but you can never seem like you're trying to take an easy route. The way to avoid this is to dedicate 90% of your e-mail to genuinely complimenting the person you want advice from on their work. If you can't do that, then you're e-mailing the wrong person.

3. The Too Much Too Soon. This is the kind of e-mail where someone asks for a huge favor before taking the time to get to know someone first. You can't e-mail a stranger and ask them to edit five scholarship essays for you. Your first encounter should be for the sole purpose of you listening to that person and learning from their experience, and for no longer than 15 minutes (unless they insist they can spend more time with you). 

The more a person talks in a conversation, the better he or she feels afterwards; studies show that the person who talks the most rates the conversation the highest. So when you're networking initially, ask lots of questions and let other people talk about themselves. You will make them feel great, and when they feel great about the conversations they have with you, they will want to bend over backwards to help you. 

In short, the longer you spend building a genuine relationship with a person, the more vibrant and beneficial your relationship will be. 

There are no "vegas weddings" in networking. Real networking happens over time, and feels more like friendship than a business exchange. 

Five reasons to travel in college

I used to hate it when people talked about "finding themselves" through travel. Backpacking through Europe during college seemed like a rich-kid fantasy. My family could never have afforded something like that.

So for me, travel was only a luxury - something I could never afford and something I didn't need to "find myself." I still don't believe you "find yourself" in travel. But through my travel experiences in college, I learned that travel can be an important stop on your journey to creating yourself in college.

Whether you're like me and figured you could never travel in college because you can barely afford tuition itself, or if you're deciding whether taking that student loan to cover study abroad is worth the money, I hope the the five reasons to travel in college below will help you think more deeply about what you could gain. 

1. It's cheaper, and sometimes freer, than you think. I never flew on an airplane until the end of my sophomore year of college, to the Phi Theta Kappa International Convention in Nashville. And as the president of our Phi Theta Kappa chapter, the entire experience was free.

Many community colleges have clubs whose leaders get to travel to conferences, as well as offer scholarships to travel abroad. I got a scholarship that covered a two-week trip to England I took my junior year. And my senior year my University flew me to New Orleans to present my senior thesis (and try the famous, delicious beignets), absolutely free. These opportunities are out there for you too - start with your college website and ask your professors. 

2. It makes you memories. I know this may sound cheesy, but there is such value when college is treated as a complete experience. And when you commute to college, it can be hard to really bond with new friends through new experiences. 

My most treasured memories happened on trips in college. Those memories are what tie you to your friends long after you graduate. 

3. It adds to your academic curiosity. Have you ever driven home after class, put your car in park, and then realized you totally zoned out and cannot even remember driving home? This is what happens when we get familiar.
When you travel outside your hometown, your senses awaken in a way they just can't when we're in our familiar routines. 

Something powerful does happen when we explore new places and new people - we realize there is a huge world that exists outside our daily lives. We know this intellectually, of course, but it's another thing entirely to experience it. This kind of experiential understanding can't come from a book, but it does have the power to make books (and lectures) come alive. 

Once you start to see the world in a new way, you'll find you'll develop a thirst for knowledge that stays with you forever (and has an incredible impact on your grades).

4. You actually do have the time. With the exception of the college students who have full-time salaried job while going to school (and/or kids), you will never have more free time in your life than you do now. Once you accept a full time salaried job, it will not be easy to take off big chunks of time to travel. 

College jobs and the college schedule is much more flexible. This is the time to do it. And while yes it will require sacrifices, I hope these reasons are helping you see they're worth it.

5. You'll gain independence & motivation. When I first signed up for the two-week field study trip to England, I did so with a friend. However, a month before we were scheduled to leave, she couldn't go. I didn't know anyone else going on this trip, and without her, I questioned whether I could do it. But quickly I realized, no, I am still going to go. And I went.

Being totally alone, forced to make new friends, was one of the best experiences of my entire college journey. It was empowering. When you learn that you can manage yourself anywhere in the world, with anyone, you start to feel like anything is possible for you. This attitude is worth every penny when it comes to motivating yourself to achieve big goals in college. 

Whether it's a semester-long study abroad trip to learn a new language or a weekend-conference across your state, make it a top goal to travel somewhere during your college experience. You won't find yourself, but you will find yourself changed for the better. 

Top 5 ways to relieve job-hunting stress

Below is another great question from my advice@communitycollegesuccess.com inbox, whose answer I thought would benefit you too. 

Leslie writes...

...I have loved my first job teaching Kindergarten, but I'm only getting one-year contracts and every year I feel like I'm back at square-one trying to find another job. Do you have any tips on how to handle the stress that comes with looking for a job and trying to pursue my passion?

My response...

1. Find someone who has a job you want - As I lay out in my book, the #1 thing to do when you're stressed about finding a job is to get to know and ask the advice of professionals who are currently in that job. As much as possible, get to know other teachers who are doing what you want to do and ask them their advice for finding a job.

They will have the best insider information for your particular industry - and as you get to know more and more people you will grow connections and might even get a job that way, though the main purpose is always just to ask for advice and to listen.

2. Read career books - What also really helped me with the stress of finding a job was checking out every career book I could at the library. Not only do they offer a lot of helpful tips to implement, but the act of reading them and trying out different tips relieves stress as it makes you feel like you have more control. 

It's also good to read biographies or autobiographies of people who interest you. In their stories you'll often see most great people go through a lot of hardship and failure and stress in their journey. Their stories also hold subtle tips on how to get through the hard stuff and continue towards your goals, shedding a little light at the end of your tunnel.

3. Make time for you -  It's so important not to let the job hunt consume every waking moment of your life (I remember scrolling through job listings on Indeed.com the summer after college until 2am one night - not a good idea). Make time for friends. Exercise. Do something fun that makes you feel like YOU. It can be so demoralizing not to have a job and it can start to make you feel horrible. It's vital to maintain confidence and to remember that a job doesn't define you.

4. Journal - Looking for a job is stressful and the rejection sometimes forces you to face some of your deepest insecurities. Getting your thoughts out on paper is cathartic and will help you learn from the journey itself. It's important to keep the journal positive and hopeful, but it's also okay to vent your frustrations too.

5. Remember that you're not alone - Getting a job is so hard. For pretty much everyone. And while our society talks a lot about the unemployment rate percentages and the importance of a college degree, no one really talks about the awful feeling that you get in between. 

Keep asking for advice and talking to other people who are going through the same thing to remind yourself that this is a journey, an adventure. And if you've found something you really want to do, you just have to keep trying and keep the faith that your hard work will pay off, even if it feels like it never will.

Good luck on your job hunt, and keep sending your questions to advice@communitycollegesuccess.com!