Success Series: Are you dealing with stress backwards?

Our culture has a kind of backwards way of looking at stress.

When we're stressed we too often decide the first things that must go are

1. Sleep
2. Heathy food
3. Time with friends/family

And yet these are the things we need most when dealing with stressful times in our lives. The above three things are actually proven to reduce stress, but for some reason we think it's a good idea to let them go when we need them most. 

Life in general can ebb and flow stress into your life, and stress isn't necessarily bad. There is "good stress," and I even read today in Shawn Achor's latest book Before Happiness that changing how you perceive stress (e.g. seeing how it can enhance your productivity and sense of purpose) can actually change how it effects you.

I'm no psychologist nor have done the studies Achor talks about in his book, but I thought the end of the semester would be a good time to remind you not to give up on the things you need most to help you get through the times when it seems you have more on your plate than usual.

So below are the three things I hear over and over again in articles about successful people and stress. I hope they help you as much as they've helped me:

1. Get 7-8 hours of sleep. 

2. Eat good healthy food (e.g. think vegetables, fruit, whole grains, lots of water, and foods with ingredients that sound like food and not chemicals, etc.)

3. Schedule time with people who make you happy. Whether it's friends, family, mentors, colleagues - anyone with whom you like to have fun. Resist the strong urge to hermit yourself during times of stress and instead start planning lunch dates or nights out and make it a priority to take some time to laugh with people you really like.

Laughter is a pretty good stress reliever too. :)

Success Series: Why "curiosity killed the cat" is bad advice

Have you ever heard the saying "curiosity killed the cat"?

I don't know where it comes from, but I know it's not a good metaphor for success. 

Poor kitties aside, curiosity is vital to your success. 

Look closely into the stories of successful people and you'll often find their journey began with a spark of curiosity that they chased with a fury. And I'm not talking about following your passion. 

I'm talking about chasing down something you want to know. You might not even know if you're passionate about it or not - and that's okay. All you have to know is that you have to know more. 

That is the kind of curiosity I'm talking about - and I want to challenge you to chase yours. 

Is there something you've been wondering about lately? Something you think is cool? Something you wish you knew more about but aren't sure where to start, or maybe even are too scared to admit you don't know much about it? 

Start learning and let your curiosity lead you. 

Most industries are in desperate need of fresh perspectives, so often your lack of current knowledge, matched with a burning curiosity, can offer tremendous solutions.

Most innovations and ideas come from intensely curious people. 

And college is the perfect place to start chasing those curiosities. Take a variety of classes. Explore random internships. Read lots of books. 

Don't question what you're curious about and don't you dare tell yourself it doesn't matter or is too obscure. Chase your curiosities. It won't kill you, but it might just lead to a whole new life. 

You'll never know until you try. :)

Success Series: Why Asking for Advice is the Best Networking Strategy

"But I'm young."

"But I have nothing to offer."

"But I'm shy."

"But I don't know anything about business."

"But I'm awkward."

These are just a few examples of some of the comments I've heard from young people who are afraid of networking. And they are all valid and understandable.

But they're also all wrong. 

Networking is this scary weird term that often conjures up some sleazy guy in a suit trying to talk himself up and force his business card into your hand.

This is not the kind of networking I'm talking about. The kind of networking I believe in feels more like friendship, and being young and/or a student can be a huge advantage if you know how to leverage it. 

I've written about this formula a lot (it's pretty much the basis for the last third of my first book and the entirety of my second book) but I think it's always helpful to have a reminder. 

The best way to start to build your network in college is to ask for advice.

Sure, you may not know a lot. You may have nothing to offer. You may be awkward and shy. And that's okay!

You actually have more to offer than you realize. Because when you ask someone for advice, listen, and then take that advice, you turn that person into your coach/mentor.

And feeling like a coach or mentor to someone is one of the best feelings in the world.

We all want to impact people's lives. We all want to feel like what we've learned in our life can be passed on and add value to someone else.

When you ask someone you admire for advice and really listen, you create an incredible bond and build a friendship that can lead to some amazing opportunities and often add value to your life in ways so beyond the traditional business-card exchange (heck you don't even need a business card for this kind of networking!)

Building a network is vital to succeeding in college and career. It just is. 

No one is successful alone. 

Here is one way to start right now:

Go to your college's student life office, career center, or the office hours of your favorite professor and ask for their advice regarding something you're trying to accomplish right now.

You don't have to have all the answers. Be vulnerable and honest about your struggles. Ask for advice. If the advice seems good to you, take it, and then go back and say thank you.

Start small and be persistent. This takes time. Try to ask for advice of someone you admire at least once a week. 

And then watch as your network grows, your opportunities expand, and your path clears.  

Success Series: Humility vs. Arrogance (which one gets you farther?)

I've been reading about success since I was a sophomore in high school - I asked for the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens for Christmas that year (nerd alert! I know, I know...). 

In this series I'm going to be revealing the top success qualities I've seen both in books and in the lives of real successful people so that you can use them to be successful in whatever it is you're pursuing right now. 

Success Series - Qualities of the Young & Successful

week 1 - humility

If you want to be successful, especially at a young age, there is a crucial thing you must have: humility.

Arrogance can get some people far, but I believe that, especially when you're young, humility pays much higher dividends in the long run.

Here's how to tell the difference and see where you are now:

The arrogant person thinks s/he knows everything.
The humble person knows s/he has much to learn.

The arrogant person uses people to get ahead.
The humble person tries to help people with what s/he knows.

The arrogant person talks only about him/her self.
The humble person listens more than s/he talks. 

The arrogant person thinks s/he can only win if you lose.
The humble person thinks there's enough success to go around. 

The arrogant person thinks s/he has all the answers.
The humble person is excited to find the answers. 

The arrogant person thinks about how to elevate his/her own status.
The humble person thinks about how to make others feel important.

The arrogant person gives unsolicited advice.
The humble person solicits advice. 

Whether you're just focusing on being successful in your current classes or you have a big dream you're reaching for, the good news is that humility can get you far.

You don't have to have all the answers, and you don't have to pretend to be someone you aren't. People are drawn to humility, especially in a culture that often makes us feel like we should always look like we have all the answers on our own. 

When you draw others to you, you draw on the resources necessary for success in anything you're trying to accomplish. 

No one is successful alone, and arrogance repels. 

Humility helps build the relationships that make success happen. To be young and successful you'll need an army of mentors and leaders who can teach you what they know and connect you to others who can move you forward.

Humility doesn't mean that you should put yourself down, hide in a corner, or not try. It just means that you are focused less on your image of success and more on actually contributing or creating something meaningful (for your community, your world, or maybe even for your next class project). 

You don't have to have all the answers to go for big dreams, you just have to be willing to find them, willing to seek help, and willing to admit you don't know everything. 

Try it. It's kind of liberating. 

Be sure to subscribe to the blog via e-mail in the top right-hand corner to stay on top of the Success Series. Next week I'll be talking about how to increase your confidence (yes - humility and confidence can go hand in hand!).