How to deal when you start comparing yourself to other people

Have you ever met someone who made you feel inferior? 

Not because they were mean or were trying to make you feel this way, but because you saw how awesome they were, and then that little voice inside your head said "You're not as awesome as that....what are you doing with your life? You basically suck."

I'm an avid believer in multiple intelligences, that we all have our own beautiful talents and abilities to contribute, and that comparing ourselves to others only hinders that talent from being developed. 

Usually when I meet awesome people their greatness inspires me to keep going. They make me feel like it's possible. They make me excited that people like them exist, and I feel grateful to be in their presence. 

But once in a while, I get that inferior feeling. Once in a while, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Once in a while, I wonder if my dreams are stupid. 

So what gets me out of this sludgy awful feeling? 

Lots of ice cream.

Just kidding.... ;)

I watched a video from Dove recently when I was feeling like this and it touched me (video below). 

The video shows that we often see ourselves differently than others see us, and while they're referring to outer beauty, I think it provides a good metaphor for your inner beauty.

You'd be surprised: while your inner dialogue is telling you you're inferior, the person you're talking to is probably feeling the same way after meeting you.

There's no one else like you. 

Whenever you're feeling down, remember this: there's a bat-signal the shape of your face beaming in the sky. A call only you can answer - no one else. So go for it (capes are optional, but highly recommended).

And if no one has told you yet today, let me be the first: You are awesome. You are going to be able to accomplish more than you can imagine if you keep working this hard. And...you are going to rock your exams this week and next!

How to get a quick confidence boost

There is nothing like a good confidence boost on a Monday. I don’t know about you – but I need it often.

There are so many things in life that can get us down, and yet it seems we are the ones who tear ourselves down the most.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Do you ever feel inferior? Do you ever wake up on a Monday morning and wonder – am I good enough?

This happens to me more than I care to admit. Especially when you decide to put yourself out there, try your hardest, and give your life everything you’ve got – there are moments when you just wonder if it’s going to work. 

There are times when you wonder if you can really do what you set out to do. There are times when you wonder if you have what it takes.

We all need a little reminder. And while there is almost nothing better than having a person in your life who gives you that encouragement when you need it, we cannot rely on others for our self-esteem. It is too fragile that way.

I watched the movie The Help (based on my favorite book by Kathryn Stockett) this weekend for the second time, and the same moment made me cry. It is the moment at the end when the maid Aibileen tells the little girl she’s practically raised “you is smart, you is kind, you is important” one last time before she leaves (after being fired). Aibileen says earlier in the movie that in her work she learned how to “help little children feel proud of theyselves.”

And when she tells that little girl those three phrases for the last time it hits me right in the gut. Because I think about how many people grow up never hearing that they are kind, smart, and important. I think about how many people walk through their lives feeling like they’re not good enough.

Do you ever feel that way?

It’s not an easy thing to fix, but it is something you can control.

So the next time you are feeling like you just aren’t good enough for whatever it is you are trying to achieve in your life, look yourself in the mirror and say “You are kind. You are smart. You are important.” Try it right now. It feels good. 

And then be kind today. Find things to do that make you feel smart - the things that you’re best at. Act like you are important even when you don’t feel like it. 

And I’m not talking about the kind of entitled importance that those with the lowest self-esteem try to fake. I’m talking about the kind of importance that allows you to put others before yourself, to encourage others often, and to be more focused on making others feel important than worrying about yourself.

But it must start with you. Look in that mirror this morning and tell yourself that you are kind, you are smart, you are important. Keep saying it until you believe it.

Because if more people truly believed that about themselves, we would have a lot less problems in our world.  

And if anything, know that I believe it of you.

You are kind. You are smart. And you are important.